This is a journal entry from Wednesday 8/6/2008
Last day of the trip.
I think I have a way forward on growing my prosperity. I plan on taking a contracting job and taking time to build resources to do freelance work and work on the Rex Harley business. I'm very paranoid about this because I've always been afraid of not being able to make ends meet and winding up on the street.
This would be easier if I didn't have HIV and taking expensive medicines to keep it at bay.
So for the reaming time, I need career objectives and a direction for Rex Harley
Friday, August 8, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
A New Course
This is a journal entry from Tuesday 8/5/2008
If only there was some way to allow myself to believe that I didn't have to go back to work and that I could live this way for as long as I liked. Ahhh,... to take as much time as I needed.
The last journal entry helped me quantify the ideas that were floating around. It sounds like the best course of action would be to purse the idea of working for a contracting company. The ideal would be that I could continue growing Rex Harley while looking for work or between assignments. That also part of growing Rex Harley involves setting up a work environment where I could do freelance work instead.
If only there was some way to allow myself to believe that I didn't have to go back to work and that I could live this way for as long as I liked. Ahhh,... to take as much time as I needed.
The last journal entry helped me quantify the ideas that were floating around. It sounds like the best course of action would be to purse the idea of working for a contracting company. The ideal would be that I could continue growing Rex Harley while looking for work or between assignments. That also part of growing Rex Harley involves setting up a work environment where I could do freelance work instead.
- Figure out insurance
- Rewrite resume
- Find contracting company
- Apply
- Leave current employer once hired
- Setup work environment
- Develop Rex Harley brand
The important thing is to find my passion. I've been missing that because of the confusion about what course I should take.
And also, if I prioritize tasks, I can't become so single minded that the less important things go unhandled. Some things are less important so long as they are taken care of, but become a crisis if they aren't.
Career Options
This is a journal entry from Monday 8/4/2008
Option 1. Continuing with my current employer and finding ways to grow there.
- This option isn't really an option. I chose long ago to leave any company after five years. I've been with the same company for eight - although it's fundamentally changed during that time since it was bought out.
- It's time to move on.
Option 2. Finding a new forty hour per week job as a Java developer.
- This would be the most comfortable thing to do. I would continue to have health insurance and a predictable income.
- On the plus side, I'm familiar with this kind of work. I could learn a new industry.
- On the minus side, I'm still working for someone else. I won't have control over what I do. My income will be limited.
Option 3. Working for a contracting company.
- This sounds like a good fit - if there was work to do. There could be months without work to work on other projects - or to go through my savings. It's more unstable - and possibly more competitive.
- Pluses: I could work with technologies and maybe industries that I'm already familiar with. I could earn more money.
- Minuses: I might not find work for a long time or I might not find work often enough to be able to grow my savings for retirement. I would - maybe - need to be self-insured.
Research: How do contractors insure themselves? Through their companies? Or self-insurance?
Option 4. Doing freelance work as a Java developer or with web technology.
- This sounds like fun. It would give me alot of freedom to choose how to live, and I could take work in areas where I want to grow.
- Pluses: Control. Great growth potential. Possible decent income.
- Minuses: Self-insurance. Marketing required to find work. There would be a delay while I set up my work environment and familiarized myself with more technology. I might not find work. I might not earn enough to support myself or to save for retirement in the near future.
Option 5, Continuing working with the Rex Harley website and domain until it's profitable.
- This wouldn't be feasible until it becomes profitable. Even if I develop much more time to this, it wouldn't mean an income that I could live on. This is something to grow over time.
- Pluses: Complete control. Opportunity to grow and learn whatever I choose.
- Minuses: No near term income. Possibly never enough to support grow a nest egg. Could require significant effort to make it a profitable business.
Option 6, Finding something I can sell on the Internet - a muse company.
- I don't know how likely this is. Technically I already have a product called Rex Harley that I'm selling. Timothy Ferris wrote in "The 4-Hour Workweek" took a different approach, but this is his take on how he would do it if he had to do it over.
Course Correction
This is a journal entry from Sunday 8/3/2008
So what options do I see? Continuing with my current employer and finding ways to grow there? Finding a new 40 hour per week job as a Java developer? Being a contractor with a contracting company? Doing freelance work as a Java developer, or web technology? Continue working with the Rex Harley website and domain until it is profitable? Finding something that can be sold on the Internet - a muse company? Do I want to work less so that I can live more? Or do I simply want a new job where I am my own boss? Can I earn an income from my life's work?
One thing is that I don't want to look at it through the lens of my current job. Right now, I just want to be away and to sleep and relax and not worry about anything. I wouldn't want that in the long run. I want to feel useful. But it might be nice to feel useful while working fewer hours, without feeling constantly stressed, or that I'm stressed beyond my abilities. I want to a creative, non-repetitive job that I am capable of doing that leaves me time to pursue other interests.
So what options do I see? Continuing with my current employer and finding ways to grow there? Finding a new 40 hour per week job as a Java developer? Being a contractor with a contracting company? Doing freelance work as a Java developer, or web technology? Continue working with the Rex Harley website and domain until it is profitable? Finding something that can be sold on the Internet - a muse company? Do I want to work less so that I can live more? Or do I simply want a new job where I am my own boss? Can I earn an income from my life's work?
One thing is that I don't want to look at it through the lens of my current job. Right now, I just want to be away and to sleep and relax and not worry about anything. I wouldn't want that in the long run. I want to feel useful. But it might be nice to feel useful while working fewer hours, without feeling constantly stressed, or that I'm stressed beyond my abilities. I want to a creative, non-repetitive job that I am capable of doing that leaves me time to pursue other interests.
Eternal Life
This is a journal entry from Sunday 8/3/2008
Again in the book "In the flow of life," Butterworth says about reincarnation "...there is that of you that is more than your body, and the you that transcends the body, the eternal, ever-living soul of you has woven the body temple and is the sustaining influence of it."
I like the idea of having an eternal spirit, but if you will always live, then it stands to reason that you always have lived. That would be the definition of eternal. I think the last entry mentioned this concept of the focusing of awareness on consciousness actually creates the body that we use to experience the world.
Then this body is literally a creation of ourselves, and while the body may die, we will continue. And this idea doesn't need a physical heaven.
In fact, there is no proof that we don't simply cease to exist when we die.
But the fact that this little chunk of the universe can be aware of the universe at all shows that there is more to the universe than what we can see. There is also that which is aware of what we see. That which contains a mirror of the universe that surrounds it. Even if it's simply a side effect of a complex brain, it is significant. Whatever it is within this body that is aware is also spread throughout the universe. If I am aware, then by definition the universe itself is aware.
Again in the book "In the flow of life," Butterworth says about reincarnation "...there is that of you that is more than your body, and the you that transcends the body, the eternal, ever-living soul of you has woven the body temple and is the sustaining influence of it."
I like the idea of having an eternal spirit, but if you will always live, then it stands to reason that you always have lived. That would be the definition of eternal. I think the last entry mentioned this concept of the focusing of awareness on consciousness actually creates the body that we use to experience the world.
Then this body is literally a creation of ourselves, and while the body may die, we will continue. And this idea doesn't need a physical heaven.
In fact, there is no proof that we don't simply cease to exist when we die.
But the fact that this little chunk of the universe can be aware of the universe at all shows that there is more to the universe than what we can see. There is also that which is aware of what we see. That which contains a mirror of the universe that surrounds it. Even if it's simply a side effect of a complex brain, it is significant. Whatever it is within this body that is aware is also spread throughout the universe. If I am aware, then by definition the universe itself is aware.
Design for Growth
This is a journal entry from Saturday 8/2/2008
I want to take time to design my life, but I don't want to limit my lift to my design. I want to be open and teachable. I want to continue to grow. Whatever I design, it should incorporate the opportunity for spontaneous experience and action.
I want to take time to design my life, but I don't want to limit my lift to my design. I want to be open and teachable. I want to continue to grow. Whatever I design, it should incorporate the opportunity for spontaneous experience and action.
Cosmic Flow Manifesting
This is a journal entry from Saturday 8/2/2008
I've got a few more thoughts about the book I was reading "In the flow of life" by Eric Butterworth.
He says "You are an integral part of the universe, where each part contains within it all the elements of the whole." This is in the chapter called "Life, Death, and Rebirth." So I can apply my earlier concept of my experience of the universe lying within me while I'm simultaneously in the universe. It's the oneness of inside/outside coexistence.
At first I read this and thought it was talking about the holographic view of the universe where every part of the universe contains the whole universe, or at least one perspective of it. Now I'm not sure. I think that it implies that my existence is not limited to the three dimensional space of my body, that I am in fact the whole of the universe expressing as me.In that case, it's different than the inside/outside unification. Maybe it's the outside/inside unification. If I experience the universe within me, then the universe experiences me outside the universe??? There is no "outside of the universe." Try "inside the universe/outside of me.
There is a simpler way:
I experience the universe through my senses and I act on the universe through my actions. Simple enough.
The issue is that I am not a static sphere. As I interact and modify the universe within me, I also do it in the universe. Plus I am part of the universe so if the universe were to say "I am the universe," then it could say so from any of it's parts, including me.
The point being that the hunk of the universe that exists where I am (me) has access to all the powers of the universe. It also is part of the continuity of the whole of the universe. The whole of the universe, including the part that is me, is expressing itself through the part of the universe that is me. So I can no more die than can the universe.
So the idea then is that this focusing of attention on my existence in the universe is who I am. So if my physical body ceases to live, then this attention focus will create a new body to experience the universe.
So I am the flowing forth of the universe into itself - creating my physical body to experience the universe. And if my physical form ceases, the universal flow that is me can create a new body. But the important thing is to focus on what it means to be the flowing forth of the universe into itself.
I've got a few more thoughts about the book I was reading "In the flow of life" by Eric Butterworth.
He says "You are an integral part of the universe, where each part contains within it all the elements of the whole." This is in the chapter called "Life, Death, and Rebirth." So I can apply my earlier concept of my experience of the universe lying within me while I'm simultaneously in the universe. It's the oneness of inside/outside coexistence.
At first I read this and thought it was talking about the holographic view of the universe where every part of the universe contains the whole universe, or at least one perspective of it. Now I'm not sure. I think that it implies that my existence is not limited to the three dimensional space of my body, that I am in fact the whole of the universe expressing as me.In that case, it's different than the inside/outside unification. Maybe it's the outside/inside unification. If I experience the universe within me, then the universe experiences me outside the universe??? There is no "outside of the universe." Try "inside the universe/outside of me.
There is a simpler way:
I experience the universe through my senses and I act on the universe through my actions. Simple enough.
The issue is that I am not a static sphere. As I interact and modify the universe within me, I also do it in the universe. Plus I am part of the universe so if the universe were to say "I am the universe," then it could say so from any of it's parts, including me.
The point being that the hunk of the universe that exists where I am (me) has access to all the powers of the universe. It also is part of the continuity of the whole of the universe. The whole of the universe, including the part that is me, is expressing itself through the part of the universe that is me. So I can no more die than can the universe.
So the idea then is that this focusing of attention on my existence in the universe is who I am. So if my physical body ceases to live, then this attention focus will create a new body to experience the universe.
So I am the flowing forth of the universe into itself - creating my physical body to experience the universe. And if my physical form ceases, the universal flow that is me can create a new body. But the important thing is to focus on what it means to be the flowing forth of the universe into itself.
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