March '10 Insights

• I have an introvert temperament and much of my experience of the world is within me.
• I want to feel happy and relaxed, confident and powerful.
• Meditation helps me quiet my mind. My mind keeps me from exercising my birthright because of false beliefs. Quieting my mind helps me to let the light of God shine through me.
• I am powerful. I can do anything or nothing. I am not trapped. I am free.
• I've been waiting all my life to experience the pain that I fear, and it never comes. Threats of spanking were never fulfilled growing up. Homelessness, poverty and hunger never happened in forty four years of fear. Disease and physical pain never come to pass. Why do I still try to steal myself to endure them?
• I am not my thoughts. I observe my thoughts. By observing, I can raise my conscious awareness. BY focusing my attention on the present moment, I can transcend my thoughts and anxiety and learn to fully accept my life. Then nothing can stop me because only my thoughts can stop me and I will have learned to transcend my thoughts and the power of the silence within me will shine through.
• What is my tribe of men? Men who are sexually free. Men who can help me deepen my faith - who lead reach spiritual lives. Men I talk with freely and laugh with like the people from AA and NA. Men who remind me to take it easy and keep things in perspective. Men who have fun.
• I need time to look out the windows and daydream.
• Inner silence is the death of ego and the birth of being.
• I want to carry this silence into tomorrow, but silence can only be rediscovered in each present moment. That makes me sad. Then I experience the silence again and I am glad.
• God is Love. Love is recognizing oneness. So God is recognizing oneness.
• It's time to find and eliminate the causes of terrorism rather than fighting the symptoms.

Creating A Vision

This is a journal entry from March 21, 2010

I am slowly learning to focus on the present. It's still very natural to be obsessing about what I need to do next, but I can do anything and remain in the present moment.
I am part of the vast energy field of life that surrounds me. God is omnipresent (here and now), omniscient (all intelligence and knowledge that exists), omnipotent (all the power of the universe). My church often uses the phrase that there is only One Power and One Presence in the universe. Maybe it should be revised to be there is only One Power, one One Intelligence and One Presence in the universe. My intelligence contributes to the infinite intelligence of God, and that infinite intelligence is available to me now. My power/strength/enthusiasm contribute to God's omnipotence, and it is available to me now. God is Love. Love is driven to express.
I want to find some friends to play with. I want to play and pretend and make believe. I think it's actually key to discovering myself.
Thinking of Rex Harley as a fictional character, what adventures might he get into? Zero-G sex aboard the Sex Star, the orbiting adult playground. Planting a small vegetable garden or a flower garden. Training to be a sex guru. Owning a porn studio. Being an activist for sexual freedom. Exploring the world. Envisioning an ideal Utopian world. Rescuing non-consensual sex slaves. Setting up an agency for voluntary sex slavery. Being minister in a church where no topics are off limits. Owning a clothing optional resort. Living in a clothing optional community. Becoming part of a communal living arrangement, community or "frat" house.
What about playing? Checkers, chess, poker craps, monopoly, bondage, S&M, Dominoes, bowling, underwear skating.