Monday, August 24, 2009

Industry Research in California

Do you know any sacred intimates? Or anyone in the adult entertainment industry? Or maybe someone who works in a resort/healing center/retreat?

I will be visiting the San Fernando Valley, Palm Springs and LA area starting on October 1. If you know someone who works in the area, please pass their contact information to me or ask if they would be willing to help me with an informational interview. I'm looking for sacred intimates, owners of businesses and performers/models.

I love being an exhibitionist. I have a deeply spiritual life. I believe sex is divine and God love's how I express this gift. I want to help others feel as I do enjoying the experience of the flesh while keeping the innocence of spirit. I dream of serving others and being free doing what I love.

The goal is to get an understanding of these industries and to meet anyone who might help me understand how I can contribute. Contact me at

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Polyphasic sleep schedule shelved

I'm taking a break from the polyphasic sleep schedules. For whatever reason, I haven't been able to relax enough to fall asleep during my naps. As a result, I'm not getting enough REM time. Now I know what "tired" really feels like.

On the other hand, I know that I can get some extra hours of wake time several times per week. The key is shaking up the schedule to see what actually works. These past few days have been very useful in finding what I'm capable of.

With luck, my next post will be about what skills I have as an employee. I'd ask everyone who reads this entry to think about what jobs might be a good match for my skills. I'd like to make a switch before burning out.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Polyphasic Sleep

I've recently mentioned on Twitter and Face Book that I'm investigating a polyphasic sleeping pattern. I was inspired by this site: which lead me to this site: which inspired me further.

It appealed to me to have some more hours in the day - especially if I was no worse for the wear. So far, it's been fun. My life is feeling less stressed because I have a few hours that are like gifts. They're free since I would not have them without a different sleeping schedule, so I can use them however I choose and not feel like I'm "wasting time." I don't feel any rush to complete anything during this time and it passes at a very relaxing pace.

I'm currently sleeping 4.5 hours per night. Then at 12, 5, and 10 I take a nap for 20 to 30 minutes. As I am about to go to sleep for the fourth time for only four and a half hours, I am wondering if three hours would work. I refuse to use this time to do more of the same. I'm not trying to get more done in a day. I'm trying to find the time to eliminate things from my schedule that don't support me. For the first time, I feel like I can catch up enough to find the life that I want to live. I'll try to explain that better in the future.

Even better, I can now have time to spend with my masturbation practice. :)

I'll use this blog entry to track the actual sleep times as close as I'm able to track them. Sometimes I forget to write the time down. Sometimes I need to shift the schedule because of other activities.
Beginning August 13 2009
Day 1 - 13 | 3:30 AM-8:00, 12:00 PM, 5:00 PM, 10:00 PM
Day 2 - 14 | 2:30AM-7:00, 2:00 PM (shifted), 5:00 PM, 10:00 PM
Day 3 - 15 | 2:30AM-7:00, 1:00 PM (shifted), 5:00 PM, 11:00 PM (Shifted)
Day 4 - 15 | 2:30AM-7:00...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Relax. Right now, everything is OK just the way it is

How can I believe that everything is going to be alright?
  • I believe the underlying principle that brought life into existence will continue.
  • While I believe in free will, I also believe that there is a divine plan for my life - for everyone's life.
  • I believe we are naturally drawn to our path, but that ego leads us off the path. I feel driven by ego and off the path.
  • I believe the only part of myself that feels threatened by life is my ego. It's what feels disrespected in traffic. It is what responds to anger with anger.
  • I believe I can take it down a notch. Everything is not critical. Everything is OK just the way it is. Life is a transition. Nothing remains the same.
Up until this point, my life has felt heavy. Life has felt jagged and unsafe - compared to having all my needs met as a child. I have abhorred expressing emotion, but the only emotions I can suppress are happy ones. So I often experience fear, anger and sadness.
I want to believe this is not my natural state, but that it is something I can release to uncover myself. I want to believe that I can experience life and feel safe and express joy.
  • I am not my thoughts. I am not my ego.
  • Only my ego feels overwhelmed.
  • Only my ego feels threatened.
  • Only my ego feels disrespected.
  • Only my ego feels fear.
  • Only my ego feels anger.
My primary concern is letting go of this stress and knowing that everything is OK just the way it is.
Just because everything is OK doesn't mean that I have to stop. I continue stepping forward and with each step, it's still OK.
Step 1: Learn to be comfortable expressing happiness and excitement.