Sunday, August 22, 2010

February '10 Insights

  • I have the power to make of my life whatever I choose. I can do and be whatever I choose. I can make a work of art of my life.

I am happy

This is a journal entry from February 28, 2010
Today, I am happy and relaxed, confident and powerful.
I am happy because I am free to pursue my ambitions, because I found love, because I have time to relax, because I can avoid what I don't like. I am happy because I am powerful, because I have no troubles to wear me down, because I live in an abundant universe, because I have challenges to overcome. I am happy because there is no challenge I can't overcome. I am happy there is an infinite wellspring of power and wisdom within me that I can access when I am relaxed.

Overwhelming Thoughts

This is a journal entry from February 27, 2010
Here's the problem with the weekend: there's too much time. All that time means you can get many things done. That becomes overwhelming.
My goal is to free my consciousness. I want to let in beauty and keep out negativity. The thought that I'm tired is an invalid thought. Maybe there's another thought behind it like: This is too hard or I can't do this anymore or This is draining the life out of me or I'll never catchup or This is beyond my ability and it's uncomfortable.
All of these are thoughts. They are evaluations of myself in relation to the world. They all underestimate my ability. there's an underlying belief that I can be depleted and used up. I wind up wanting to protect my precious reserve of life force so I resist life.
The fact is that I have an infinite wellspring of this life energy. I tap into it whenever I choose - whenever I don't resist. I've seen this power in the past.
What do I want to do today?

I am more free than I have ever been

This is a journal entry from February 26, 2010
Seek first the kingdom... God is omnipresent, so God surrounds me. God is within me. I have my existence in God. The only truth is the perfection in the mind of God, from which the universe is continually created. Anything that is not perfect is an illusion. Disease is an illusion. Death is an illusion. God is here now. Time and space itself is an illusion. God is the only truth.
I have a recurring thought "I feel tired." I habitually have this thought. The thought and feeling come almost simultaneously. I don't believe the thought. It happens more in the morning than at night. Once I begin my day, it doesn't seem true. It's an illusion. God is the only truth and God is omnipresent love.
I am more free than I have ever been. I have my piercings. I have videos posted on XTube. I'm writing the software for my new website. I have enough money on hand for impulsive buys. God is the only truth and God is omnipresent love.

Creating Meaning

This is a journal entry from February 11, 2010
How can I create some beauty in the world today? Yesterday, I mentioned that my life was mine to create. Since my gripe is that I can't find much meaning in the world, I choose to create it. I no longer need to look for meaning. I can create meaning.
Hero's resonate with me. People who answer to a higher calling. Those who protect the innocent. People with open minds and hearts. I choose to honor and promote the principles I have learned.
  • I will treat all people with respect.
  • I will seek truth.
  • I will create beauty.

January '10 Insights

  • Maybe my mission is helping people to not be so overwhelmed with the world today. Being so overwhelmed is a big reason that people don't feel they can impact global warming or why they haven't heard about it! It could also be why people are homeless. The ability of the modern world to blind us with information overload may be the cause of many of the world's problems. It's one of the things I've been battling my whole life.
  • Affirmation: I can see living as part of a tribe of men who share my values, where I am respected for who I am and I feel safe to be completely open and honest with my thoughts and feelings.
  • I'm looking for that inner alignment that lets me: act in unison with myself, be of one mind. I want to be one with myself. I don't want to argue with myself or push myself.
  • It's not the number of things that you can fit into a day, but the quality of consciousness that you keep.


This is a journal entry from January 24, 2010
Seek first the kingdom.
Today, my consciousness is filled with conflict. I try to relax and move forward, but I feel tired and discouraged. Thoughts that seem powerful at other times fall flat now.
It feels like that persistent, low grade, driving force inside me trying to push me forward. If that force would relax, I would naturally move forward.
My meditation has given me the ability to recognize this force. I can recognize it as ego. I recognize it is not who I am. It's still influencing me to distraction. I can turn my attention there - on a regular basis. I can be free of it and live a much happier life.

If I won the lottery...

This is a journal entry from January 7, 2010
Napoleon Hill (or W Clement Stone) said something like "whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." I don't think this meant that you should try to convince yourself to believe any crazy thing, but that you can keep conceiving of new things until you can find something to believe in.
I've been playing the mega millions each week. I don't do it because I ever have a chance of winning, but to demonstrate that I am willing to receive. I'm giving God an avenue to bless me financially. As practice, I'm imagining how I would use that money if I received it. Part of that plan involves tithing ten percent, paying taxes and setting up some kind of investments that would let me draw an annual income.
After that is the real work. I would be able to do what I wanted, working on my own projects, exploring careers, taking classes... The financial pressure would be off and I would be able to do something without being driven by profit.
All of this leads back to the simple idea that if I'm doing what I was born to do, then all my needs will be met. If I can trust, I won't need to win the lottery. I'll have the resources I need when I need them.
I can see myself writing software for myself, taking time to be creative. When there's no pressure and I can be creative, coding can be very fulfilling. I can see making my own porn videos - regardless if they ever sell or are profitable. I can imagine a company that is not driven by profits, but by helping to heal the consciousness of violence and hatred that is gripping the world.