August '09 Insights

• I believe that the underlying principle that brought life into existence will continue.
• While I believe in free will, I also believe that there is a divine plan for my life - for everyone's life.
• I believe we are naturally drawn to our path, but that ego leads us off the path. I feel driven by ego and off the path.
• I believe the only part of myself that feels threatened by life is my ego. It's what feels disrespected in traffic. It responds to anger with anger.
• I believe I can take it down a notch. Everything is not critical. Everything is OK just the way it is. Life is always in a transition. Nothing remains the same.
• Up until this point, my life has felt heavy. Life has felt jagged and unsafe - compared to having all my needs met as a child. I have abhorred expressing emotion, but the only emotions I can suppress are happy ones. So I only experience fear, anger and sadness. I want to believe this is not my natural state, but that it is something I can release to uncover myself. I want to believe that I can experience life and feel safe and express joy.
• I am not my thoughts. I am not my ego.
• Only my ego feels overwhelmed.
• Only my ego feels threatened.
• Only my ego feels disrespected.
• Only my ego feels fear.
• Only my ego feels anger.
• Polyphasic sleep schedules don't work if you are naturally tense, drink coffee, or have trouble sleeping.
• If I'm not where I want to be today and if I feel hopelessly stuck - I have at least one alternative: Growth. It doesn't matter how I'm earning money as long as I'm growing.
• No matter what happens, it's a vital step in my personal evolution and I will be OK.