God is guiding me

This is a journal entry from today

What's wrong with me is that the way I feel doesn't reflect who I am, that I think I don't belong here, that I think there is something else I should be doing. I resist this moment and my feelings. I'm turned inward.
How can I see the truth and realize it within myself? Recognize the lies as lies.

My life is short. I don't want to approach death with the sense that I have not lived.
Working in the mainstream corporate culture is like death to me. It's not that I can't be myself. It's that I am not living – out of fear. The company does not reflect what I believe myself to be. What does? Tattoo studios, piercing parlors, brothels, porn studios, erotic education, spiritual eros, bath houses...
I suffer from a believe that I have to keep doing what I'm doing to make the money I'm making.

God is guiding me. God is fulfilling every need. I relax and let God take care of me.