This is a journal entry from Monday 7/2/12
I'm getting ready for Healing theWounded Healer. I've been thinking about enjoying taking classes more than putting them to use. There are plenty of classes I want to take and to go to the gym, but I don't know how I want to use my skills. I'm tired of trying to fit the most important things into spare time. It leaves me no time to relax. I always feel overwhelmed.
My world is a reflection of who I am. I want to make my world better. Cutting off my nose to spite my face is not a good idea. Instead of leaving the job I don't like, I owe it to myself to find the job I do like. Or I need to learn to like what I'm doing.
May I create a sacred brothel, in consciousness? A new vision.
This is a journal entry from Tuesday 7/3/12
I just caught myself laughing as I was relating a story to someone at work. Progress.
This is a journal entry from Thursday 7/5/12
I thought of the term Sacred Brothel the other day. I'm thinking of the erotic monastery and if that is the right word. I think it is, but I don't want it to be exclusively erotic. It should focus on spiritual growth that incorporates eros as a component.
I notice my desire to study and go to the gym and grow. I still don't feel my mission. At least not clearly.
I imagine the monastery forming around me. This is a retreat from the world into God. Life becomes more austere, simple. The mind becomes clear without the distractions. There is daily study and practice. We learn to live a conscious life. Our hearts connect in ecstasy. The routine tasks of living take on a sacred aspect. We find a balance in life of the physical, the spiritual and the mental/emotional.
I allow my life to become my monastery. What is the vow?
This is a journal entry from Friday 7/6/12
My goal is to not feel so depleted after work. Yesterday, I was angry and frustrated all day. I was exhausted last night, the day after having a day off.
One cornerstone of my spiritual program is taking time to let my mind slow down and relax, to enjoy some time without external stimulation.
I think I could take a job I enjoyed if it meant less money. I don't want the stress of working for myself. But what if I approached it differently? I've been focusing on founding a company to employ myself. What if I changed my focus to harvesting the abundance around me directly? If I could come up with two $50k ideas per year, then I could be self supporting. I am surrounded by opportunity. If I could find a way to do this once, I could do it often.
To find that idea, I need to be relaxed and confident and happy. Then I need to pay attention to opportunities. Then I need to forget the outcome – so I don't pass up opportunities.