This is a journal entry from Monday 12/24/12
Thinking about my sabbatical, what would I do?
I don't want to lose the forest for the trees. I imagine getting enough sleep, going to the gym, orgasmic yoga... I don't want to clutter this precious time. I also don't want to climb under the covers and sleep all the time. I also don't want to panic and stress myself out about finding my next job.
The big goal is to change who I am so that I can more freely be myself. And that's an interesting idea, because it's not really changing who I am. It's actually being who I am instead of pretending to be limited. But is “pretending to be limited” part of who I am?
I'm scheduling this around the summer intensives. This is so that I can go without having vacation time> I think my sabbatical should be about service, but I also see a need to turn within. I need a balance between the two.
This is a journal entry from Wednesday 12/26/12
I'm chasing a feeling. My sense of the feeling includes confidence, self trust, strength and power. My sense is that finding that emotion will empower me to live the life I want.
I'm also aware of pushing to find solutions instead of being receptive to inspiration. I want to make sure my sabbatical doesn't become a depressed self-pity party. But then I can sit and stare at my plan and wrack my brain looking for what to do for hours. I try to solve this with yang, but I believe inspiration will come from yin. The receptive feminine.