This is a journal entry from Tuesday 6/17/2008
I need to take better care of myself. I'm not getting enough of something I need. I don't pay attention to my state of mind until I have an outburst of anger.
Sometimes it's because I'm hungry. Other times, I'm sleepy. Mostly I'm just not very happy. I'm not feeling nourished on a deeper level. Now I think it's because I'm not paying attention to myself. If I notice when I'm out of sorts, maybe I can correct it before it causes a problem. But if I feel agitated and don't know why, then what can I do about it? It's probably much simpler than it sounds.
If I'm hungry, eat.
If I'm sleepy, sleep.
If I'm stressed, take a walk and reconnect.
What happens when I can't shake the stress? I'm stressing myself. I'm pushing very hard on the website. There's no revenue yet. Whether the income comes from the website itself, or if the website leads to something else, I have a lot riding on this emotionally. More than I should.
On the other hand, I am more aware of my state of mind. I'm not as likely to be oblivious. There are times when I recognize the tired feeling I get as I head to work is actually anxiety. Sometimes I notice the clear blue sky and sense how much more there is to the universe than the problems in my life. There are times when I have an inkling of self-confidence regarding my business and can imagine feeling good - or not anxious.
I come back to this sense of being buffeted by life. Why not take charge of life? There are very few things that I must do. It's hard to describe what I mean. It's not time management or setting goals. It's recognizing that I am not buffeted by the universe, but by my reactions to it.
When you feel buffeted by life, take charge as the rightful co-creator of your life. What you create has no ability to harm you.
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