This is a journal entry from Sunday 8/10/2008
Now that I have an idea about what I want to do, I get back to the problem about how to do it. I go back to work tomorrow, but I haven't had time to start the process on getting a new resume. The office is still cluttered. My in box is full. There's no time to take care of all of this. I don't have any method I can use to get out of this job. I'll go back to being overwhelmed at work and having no time to free myself. There must be something I can do.
The problem, if it is a problem, can be solved. Others have probably already solved it. First I need to understand it, then I can find out if it has been solved. First, it feels like there's too much to do and too little time to do it. Second, attempting to do everything that I think I need to leaves me feeling too tired to do all that I want to do. The solution involves doing what I want to do and not giving attention to the idea of not having enough time. It also involves letting go of unnecessary tasks and having someone else do it for me. Another part of the solution is to learn to look at the problem in new ways.
It won't simply be letting go of my anxiety about getting things done. That must be balanced against a framework that lets me move in the direction I choose at a rate that is comfortable.
A part of the problem is that I attempt to use anxiety as a motiving factor, which depletes my energy reserve. So part of the solution is to find other motivating factors that work while preserving my emotional energy.
God is love.
Being every negative feeling is a challenge to remind us we are divine and above the circumstances.
Love allows me to see clarly.
I'm looking at the career strategy workshop papers. Now I begin to think I should take more time to decide my next career move. While I made some progress during my vacation, I didn't get around to working on the values questions. I don't think I have all the answers I need when talking to someone about my resume.
At the same time, I'm ready to be off to a new company - even if it means taking a pay cut. Working as a contractor for a while would give me an opportunity to work at promoting myself - self marketing.
So I need to finish the values/interview quesetions quickly so that I can get my resume re-written and move on.
I've got the problem and solution space defined. Can I write a software program that can give me my "next task" without involving my emotions? That's kind a neat idea. Id I rate things according to priority and time requirements, I can take my ego out of the equation and work on things with less anxiety. After a while, maybe I'll learn that it doesn't matter what I decide to do next. Everything important gets done.
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