Friday, September 12, 2008

What to do? Career choices.

This is a journal entry from Tuesday 8/19/2008

What gifts do I want to share with others?

The biggest gift would be a sense of being safe in the world, that there is an intelligence and order to it. Unfortunately, it's a gift I f frequently lack. In the same vein, the gift of recognizing your own divinity and power and the knowledge of how to help yourself and others.

After that, I can only think to wonder what gifts I have to offer. I've spent most of my life learning to fix things - cars, computers, software.

Maybe there aren't any gifts that I want to share. Maybe I just want the resources to take care of myself and leave the world to it's own devices. I've felt afraid of unpredictable people so long.


Continued on Wednesday 8/20/2008

It's the weird that I don't have a ready answer for these kind of questions. Where is my inner motivation? What do I want? I can't believe there's nothing that moves me.

When I was a child, and today, I was attracted to science fiction TV shows and movies. I've wanted to visit distant planets and use advanced technology. I enjoyed the idea that I knew how the technology worked. I liked that clever use of the technology could resolve problems.

I've also wanted to play roles of the characters who were the side kick. I want someone else to be the decision maker while I use my understanding of technology to solve problems and assist the hero.

TV and movie fantasies have been the primary way I've had of exploring my values and roles. Without them, I don't have any way to form a context for answering these questions.
  • Science and Technology
  • Technological Understanding
  • Assistance/servicing

I need to do some fiction writing to explore my values.

I see a new tie-in. People often consider science and religion to be at odds. But it could be that the reason itself is a spiritual gift, and that gift gives rise to science. So science has religion and spirituality as its base and belief could be a driving force of new scientific discoveries - as it has been in the past.

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