Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Resignation and It's Opposite

This is a journal entry from Saturday 3/30/13

I've been told to add more spirituality to the story for the anthology. I think they mean they want less sexuality. That's fine, but I'm not sure how to add more spirit. There's a continuum of comfort with sex. Some believe that any erotic pleasure is evil. Others believe it's OK on certain conditions. Very few actually incorporate it into their spirituality. I want to help people do that, but I have to meet them where they are.

This is a journal entry from Sunday 3/31/13

Today, I'm at a position again to choose to give my two weeks notice. It's as scary as ever. I don't feel the same animosity I've felt before toward the company and the income allows me to do things that I couldn't otherwise afford.

I have been planning and dreaming of this since November, when I was ready to storm out. I stuck with it and survived, but I have no real connection to the work. I'm not motivated to grow my software development skills. Work leaves me too tired at the end of the day to attend to the sexual healing services I want to provide.

This is a journal entry from Monday 4/1/13

I gave my resignation today. I have from now until the SI training to be fee and explore. In that time, I hope to know if I can support myself doing non-traditional work. Can I wear my utilikilt and nose ring? Can I be naked? Can I use technology? Can I advocate for alternate sexualities?

This is a journal entry from Saturday 4/6/13

I'm all in. I have one more week of work, then I'm free. I have a general map of the next few months. I'm going to rest for the first week. Resting includes sleep, exercise and orgasmic yoga. The first week is about self care. I hope to carry the lessons of the first week into the rest of my time off.

This is a journal entry from Sunday 4/7/13

The other day in therapy, I had a sense of freedom come over me. It was an awareness that I truly could do anything, take any action. It wasn't something I could put into works. It was much more profound than anything I could communicate. It was like an opening.

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