Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Fears and Desires

This is a journal entry from Monday 6/17/13

I must face my fears. I must go into them and experience them deeply.

A long running fear is to be unemployed and running out of money – living on the street.

Another is dying – coming to an end where everything I know comes to an end.

Another is to find myself in a lake of fire for eternity.

Another is to have to walk away from everything I know to serve god – a different kind of death.

Sacred Intimacy Training begins in two weeks. I want these two weeks to be a spirit filled time. I'm looking for a way of life, a way to feed my soul, to wake up, to open my heart. Orgasmic Yoga? Exercise? Avoid TV?

If I was living in an erotic monastery, how might my day unfold? Everything would be geared toward connecting with the divine. There would be prayer and meditation. There would be intimate connection. There would be “chopping wood, carrying water.” We would attend to healing those that came to us for help. There would be consciousness raising to heal the world.

Faith is the substance of expected things. We continuously use faith to create our world. Our world reflects our faith. With the guidance of soul and spirit, I choose to create a vision for my life.

This is a journal entry from Tuesday 6/18/13

The first soul encounter I can remember was falling in love. It lead indirectly to a stay at a mental institution. I took an elevator to Hell. I saw the world coming to an end like a watch running down. I found a way to time travel to re-sync with the present moment. A guardian angel who took care of me during this time left me as I found my sanity.

No comments: