This is from a journal entry dated 8 October 2009:
I have a sense of how I've been hurting myself and I'm trying to make amends. I'm paying attention to how I feel. I've been ruthless in trying to make myself more productive. I feel tired because I feel so much pressure. I need to heal the rift within myself.
I am sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing. I am worth so much more than the way I've been treated. How can I make it up to myself? Stop being so demanding.
I have pushed so hard when all I wanted to do was curl up and hide. I need to know that I'm doing a good job, that I'm worthwhile.