This is a journal entry from Wednesday 4/2/12
I would like a reliable way to feel empowered. It has to do with how I'm thinking. One way that I try to use is taking breaks to be present. I give my mind time to slow down by focusing on the sounds I hear as I relax. It's not unusual for me to get caught up in my thinking when I try this. That defeats my intention.
Once I get to that sense of peace and calm, I can begin to let go of attachment to past and future. This is the point where I can do as I choose. This is my point of power. This is where I am free of work and obligations, where I am physically comfortable and my mind is relaxed. If I increase this sense of power, maybe I can access it while I am at work. This is a more powerful place to be than when I am planning and hoping the “future me” (that I count on to implement my plan) will have the will. If I can conceive of what I want to do “now,” then maybe I'll be able to do it “then.” I can't plan to do something I don't have the will to do. Not anymore. I refuse to be held captive by my past.