This is a journal entry from Thursday, March 1, 2012
I have a new post on the ADULTS ONLY blog: Two Paths of Pleasure and Masculine Erotic Energy
I started to wonder how to get up early enough to go to the gym in the morning without feeling rushed. Then I realized it's the “feeling rushed” part that is causing the problem. I was able to go to the gym this morning and get to work a few minutes late. Even though I was able to go to the gym, enjoy the smell, feel my body, and be naked in the locker room, I was not happy. The only reason I went to the gym was to feel happy, and I was able to cheat myself out of that experience.
I am not my thoughts. My thoughts are within me. I am not this body. I am embodied.
I'm still trying to change the way I feel without knowing how I feel. I need to take care of my animal. I need to feed it, clean it, and keep it warm. I'm responsible for taking care of its needs.
I am responsible for my consciousness. It is how I experience the world. If I'm unhappy, I'm reacting to some aspect of myself. My time is precious and I have exactly the right amount of time. There's no need to rush. Rushing makes me unhappy. I have exactly the right amount of time whether or not I rush. I enjoy life more if I don't rush.