Sunday, May 10, 2009


Rex Harley is not my real name.

How can I talk about authenticity when I'm using a false name? I am not authentic. I'm on a path to being more authentic.

If I were to use my real name, I could lose my primary source of income as a Java/Web developer. In my day-to-day life, I avoid talking about my passions for fear of offending someone or losing my job. While the U.S. is more accepting today than it has been in the past, people judge you severely for expressing your sexuality if it doesn't match an artificial (and false) normality. This is tragic because none of us meet this mystical magical "normal" that people talk about. Just ask Alfred Kinsey.

So no, I'm not authentic today. But I am on a path to authenticity. My consciousness is focused on finding income streams that will not be threatened by my sexuality or spirituality. I'm feeling my way forward and trying to slowly be a bit more authentic with each passing day. Always strive to make progress.

We all have sexual desires that we consider unusual or even abnormal. Take a look at Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, or Larry Craig ( They weren't actually abnormal, but just dishonest. If these men had found a way to be honest with themselves, they might be happy. Hopefully they wouldn't be doing as much damage to our individual liberties. They insisted that others suppress themselves only so that they could shield themselves from their own desires.

So try to make peace with who you are and with your human desires. Find how to integrate your sexuality with your spirituality. Take it one day at a time. The Internet gives us a great way to find others we can work with to explore our desires without threatening our livelihoods, but let this be a doorway. Bit by bit, form a network of mutual support. None of your desires are evil. Of course don't harm anyone or expose anyone too young to adult topics.

Rex Harley is my authentic self. I am building this life to reflect who I truly am. Someday when it's safe and I can support myself financially, I plan on stepping into that life. I may lose some important people in my life, but I'll be authentic and unafraid.

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