Monday, August 4, 2008

Annual Review and Moving On

This is a journal entry from Sunday 7/6/2008

I've been to church and had a 90 minute massage. I was hoping that would detach me enough that I could get a clearer vision of my life's direction. I still feel the tension in the back of my neck.

I choose. I decide. There is no one else responsible for making decisions for me. I am free. I am the flowing forth of God expressing as me. I open myself to let God flow through me.

It's annual review time at work. I shouldn't care about it. I want to quit anyway. But I'm trying to answer the questionnaire in such a way as I can get the promotion that I didn't get last year. It wouldn't impact my decision to leave. but it would make me feel better. I want to present an airtight case, but I hate this company so much.

I'm not in the flow. I'm tense and filled with anxiety. It's time to chill and find the state of mind where I am aware of my power. The light of God surrounds me - I am filled with the ability to perceive correctly. When I see clearly, I make good decisions. I am guided in making wise choices. I can't fail.

I feel tired. It's the feeling of being overwhelmed, of not having a choice, of being trapped. I am free to choose.

I am concerned. [...] I am spending money faster than I'm making it. I'm not enjoying my job. Rex Harley's not making any money. The adult industry couldn't be any more noble than any other industry and is more likely to be corrupt. So right now, nothing seems to be working the way that I want.

I let the light of God flow through me. God makes everything new.

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