This is a journal entry from Sunday 7/20/2008
I begin by recognizing there is a way for me to be happy an to enjoy my day from start to finish and to accomplish all the things that are important to me.
It is important for me to take time each morning to relax into my day. I can't dictate how much time this will take. It could be five minutes or five hours. It's the time I take to align my mind with the reality of God's good. That I am sufficient to meet the challenges of the day. I have the sense that it will be time consuming until I learn how to shift my consciousness more easily and let go of some things that I currently hold onto.
I miss working out at the gym. I want to get back to body building.
I also want to find an alternative income stream.
I also want to learn to live my life's purpose. Or purposes. I need meaning and want my life to have meaning.
I want to leave my current employer sooner than later. How long until Rex Harley is profitable? How long for another muse company to take up the slack? If I take another job in the meantime, what would it be? What skills do I have that I can improve on that Rex Harley will require.
I begin with the end in mind. A clothing optional resort. Workshops on sexuality and tantra. Video shoots. Nudity. Men. Spirituality. Sharing love. Honoring the masculine through sexual freedom.
Before that - spiritual direction, a muscular masculine body, sharing sexuality, sharing a vision of spiritual sexuality. The bridge.
I've spent my whole life learning physics and computer programming. Somehow this is part of the picture. How does this tie with spirituality or sexuality? What does it mean that I still want to each myself physics and celestial mechanics? That I believe the key to long term survival for mankind and life on Earth is colonizing space? That a key to all of this is the evolution of human consciousness.
So much effort is spent enforcing morality and consuming resources that could be spent living in equilibrium and elevating all mankind. Ultra conservatives are spending millions trying to outlaw gay marriage in California that could be spent helping the less fortunate find the resources and insight to sustain themselves.
What is my part in this drama? To simply trust that God has given me all that I require to sustain myself, and to live in harmony with life on Earth. How can I produce more than I consume? First, I can consume less. Second, What can I produce? Freedom. Freedom from guilt. Self acceptance. Sexual openness. A vision. A balance between the individual and the common good.
Individual freedom is most effective when it is exercised for the greater good. Both socialists and capitalists miss the point.
How will I serve the greater good? By experiencing sexual pleasure and release. By helping the many men who have homosexual feelings - and feel they are wrong, that they must remain hidden at all costs - become comfortable with them and embrace them. By openly expressing these feelings without shame, openly for all willing adults to see.